damn

so i'm watching a scanner darkly and they're having an intense discussion about addictive drugs, and shit man it is weirding me out, being addicted to drugs is one of the most insane situations i can ever imagine, worse than anything i've had to deal with in my life because it's an unsolvable problem, people turn into other people, they have no idea what they're doing or what they're saying, they just want drugs. while the last few months of my life have dealt with very serious, adult, and life-altering situations...even though it is certainly not okay for me to say that and think about the other situation i could be in. it's weird that my real goal is to be able to have enough money to live in a foreign city and be able to take all sorts of hallucinogenic drugs that would alter my experience more than i ever could in a city i was familiar with or really any city i had ever been to. all i really want to do is host an odd show on the travel channel that allowed me to go all around the world without ever having to pay for anything, get translators, a camera crew and an unlimited stipend and let me have a fucking great time, like my favorite show of all time, Three Sheets starring Zane (what's his name). i guess that's all for tonight and i hope to write on this blog more often, it really could be the spring board that i desperately need.